For the love of Queen Lucy
by amber-goddess
Summary: A one-shot Lucy/Tumnus fic (hey, give it a chance...), set during and after Lucy's reign as Queen of Narnia.
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: C. S. Lewis (or whoever it is that manages his affairs nowadays) owns all the characters. The plot is a product of my own warped little mind.  
  
Authors note: After re-reading my Narnia books I decided to write a fic about my two favorite characters - Lucy and Mr Tumnus. It is rather long reading, but I can only assure you that it is a one-shot fic and most of it consists of dialogue. Don't let the length put you off!  
  
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For The love of Queen Lucy  
  
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Cair Paravel was alive that night.  
  
The great ivory roof glowed gold in the flaming candlelight, tall windows looking out onto a velvet dusk. Banners in green and gold hung from every wall and tables heaved with Narnian delicacies: the product of the diligent labor of the castle cooks. Fruits, cakes, ices, meats, baked vegetables, soups...all achingly beautiful to look at and even better to eat. The murmur of a thousand voices rose and fell like the waves on the nearby beach, merry music supplied by a quartet of musicians standing on a raised platform. It seemed that the very air was suffused with joyful celebration, for Their Royal Highnesses had returned home from their tour to the Lone Isles, and all of Narnia rejoiced at their return.  
  
The High King Peter sat, goblet in hand, flanked by King Edmund and Queen Susan. All three were talking together excitedly in between mouthfuls of food - they seemed to be as happy to be home as Narnia was to welcome them back. Dressed in all their regal finery it was almost impossible to identify them with the three young children that had walked through the wardrobe all those years ago. They were older now, tall and proud, and held themselves with a quiet dignity even as they laughed and joked between themselves. Aslan's chosen. The true Kings and Queens of Narnia.  
  
The fourth throne at the high table was, however, empty.  
  
It wasn't that she wasn't enjoying herself at the banquet. Quite to the contrary - Lucy enjoyed banquets. All the pomp and pageantry kindled a kind of childish delight in her and, luckily, Narnian's seemed to require little excuse in order to hold a celebration. Ordinarily she would have loved nothing more than to lose herself in the merriment. Not tonight though. She needed some time to think...some time away from the crowd...  
  
Which is how she came to be strolling along the beach with Mr Tumnus.  
  
The deepening twilight rendered the sky a hazy lilac, the first of the evening stars blinking silvery in the heavens. The gentle lullaby of surf against sand was the only sound to reach their ears, the distant swell of the party muted into near silence. A milky moon rose above the west horizon, casting cold illumination over the empty shore-line, glittering on the dark waves like a dusting of diamonds.  
  
Just another perfect summer night in Narnia.  
  
The two friends talked quietly between themselves as they walked side by side. Queen Lucy - having grown weary of her dainty dancing shoes - now carried them in her hands, preferring to go barefoot. The sand was delicious under her toes, and what did it matter if it was not the proper conduct of a Queen? The only other person around was Mr Tumnus, and he had certainly never bound her to any rules of formality. Perhaps that was part of the pleasure of his company. He had always treated her like a person rather than a crown. So many others had not been able to make that distinction.  
  
The faun was filling her in on all the comings and going of Narnia while she had been away and Lucy listened with idle interest. One of the Beaver's young ones had been married; the satyrs had held a summer festival at the Lanternwaste; Greyhoof the centaur had completed his star chart...nothing of any real consequence was discussed, but it gave Lucy a reassuring sense of being home. That was something that she had needed greatly after so long an absence.  
  
"I missed this."  
  
Mr Tumnus stirred at the sound of his companions softly spoken words and tilted his head inquisitively.  
  
"Missed what?"  
  
Lucy sighed contentedly. "This. All of this. Narnia."  
  
He offered her a small smile. "Did the Lone Islands not provide you with amusements?"  
  
"Oh yes, of course! I enjoyed seeing the place again. We rather neglect our outer colonies, you know, and it was good to see the islands once more." She lifted her head to gaze at the emerging stars. "But I was jolly homesick nonetheless."  
  
The faun laughed lightly to himself. It amused him to hear her speak in this way. She, like all of the royal siblings, had developed a speech befitting a monarch over the years - rich and stylized. But every now and again - generally when they were alone - she would somehow slip into this strange dialect. He wondered if she even noticed that she did it.  
  
"Well then, I am certainly pleased that you have returned to us, your majesty."  
  
She turned and flashed him a good-natured grimace. "By the Lion, how droll that sounds! Please, do let us dispense with the formality, dear friend. I have had enough of 'your majesty' and 'your royal highness' to last me an age!"  
  
Tumnus stooped to pick up a stray whip of dune grass, flicking it distractedly at his furred thighs as they continued on their leisurely stroll down the strand. "I meant it as a show of respect, of course."  
  
Lucy thought for a moment, then lifted the circlet of gold from her head. Shaking her hair lose against the breeze, she slipped the crown over her slim wrist, wearing it like an over-sized bracelet.  
  
"There now, let us forget that I am Queen. Now I am nothing more than just plain old Lucy, taking a stroll down the beach with her dearest and most beloved friend."  
  
The faun watched her for a moment, then chuckled quietly, shaking his head. "I fear, my lady - if you'll forgive my impertinence - you are anything but 'plain' or 'old'. Neither description could be further away from the truth, in fact."  
  
"Tumnus!" The young woman beamed happily. "Your words flatter me greatly. Had only my suitors from Calormen possessed your charm, I might well have submitted to their attentions!. "  
  
Mr Tumnus stopped abruptly, causing Lucy to pause and glance over to him. Even in the dim half-light, she could see that he seemed to be suddenly flustered. Wide brown eyes blinked quickly, dark eyebrows drawing into a troubled frown.  
  
"Oh, I did not mean it like that. That is to say, I- I did not mean anything *improper* by the remark. I merely meant to say...that...well..." the poor faun wringed his hands in distress, floundering helplessly for something to say. "...Oh...oh bother..."  
  
Lucy stared at him for a moment, watching him becoming progressively more uncomfortable. Laughing softly to herself, she took a step forward, placing one hand on the side of his face. "Silly faun," she chided gently. "I was only teasing."  
  
Tumnus paused. "You were?"  
  
"Of course."  
  
"Ah. I see. How foolish of me." Still, he hesitated, eyebrows drawn together uncertainly. "Then - if you'll beg my pardon - you are not offended?"  
  
The queen smiled fondly at him. "As if anything you said would ever cause me offense, dear Mr Tumnus."  
  
"Good. Excellent." He cleared his throat, glancing at the hand resting against his cheek and looking vaguely uncomfortable. Lucy promptly removed it, taking a step backwards.  
  
"Upon my honor, Tumnus, you are jumpy this evening. What's the matter?"  
  
The faun stared at her blankly, tail flicking in mild embarrassment. "Jumpy? Me? Not at all."  
  
Lucy watched him closely for a long moment. She could see that something was making him uneasy, but - after a slight deliberation - she decided not to peruse the matter any further. Whatever the matter was with Tumnus, he obviously didn't wish to discuss it. Not at that point in time anyway. She decided to leave it alone for the moment.  
  
Clasping her hands in front of her, she looked questioningly to her companion. "Then...shall we continue on our way?"  
  
Tumnus seemed a little relieved by the suggestion. He nodded.  
  
"Will you not take my arm?"  
  
The faun turned to stare at her tensely  
  
Lucy laughed merrily at the look on her friends face. "Why, Tumnus! You stare at me as though I were the White Witch incarnate! Am I that repulsive to you?" Her mouth curved into a teasing twist, eyebrows raised in an unspoken challenge.  
  
"Oh n-no, of course not!" He seemed genuinely mortified by the suggestion and quickly took the lady's offered arm. She turned to smile at him and they continued on their slow walk down the beach.  
  
Lucy allowed her eyes to drift over the darkened horizon. Dusk had given way to early evening, the deep indigo wash of color making it impossible to see where the sky ended and the ocean began. A cool breeze, fresh and clean, winged in over the waves, causing her unbound hair to shift restlessly. Cold water lapped at her bare toes. She shivered unconsciously.  
  
"Are you cold?"  
  
She glanced up at his gently spoken words. With a start she realized she was beginning to feel slightly chilled...she hadn't even noticed until he mentioned it. The dress that she had selected for the banquet was a light summer garment of pale lilac - beautiful to look at, but offering little in protection against the elements.  
  
"A little," she admitted quietly.  
  
To his surprise, Lucy sighed suddenly and leaned against him, pressing her body against his side. They were both of near equal height - Tumnus being taller than the average faun and Lucy being rather short for a woman of her age - and fitted together perfectly. She rested her head in the soft curve between his neck and his shoulder, mumbling something quietly against his throat. Acting almost instinctively, he draped an arm around her waist.  
  
"Better?"  
  
"Yes." She smiled and closed her eyes. "Thank you."  
  
"It's no trouble at all."  
  
They walked for a while in silence, content in each others company. Aside from the occasional anxious flick of his tail, Tumnus seemed to have calmed down a little. He chided himself inwardly for his earlier stupidity. Why should he be over reacting in such a manner? It was only Lucy after all. Lucy - his dearest friend for these past twelve years, and whose arm he had held on countless occasions in that time. He had never given so much as a second thought to the matter before. So why was he now? What had changed?  
  
...Of course, he knew the answer to that particular question, and it made him mildly uneasy.  
  
"Perhaps we should consider returning soon?" he murmured thoughtfully.  
  
The Queen frowned and blinked, her eyelashes silky against his skin. "Not now, Tumnus. We have hardly had a chance to talk together, you and I. It seems like an age since we last spoke."  
  
"I have not seen you since the going-away party that you held the night before you departure for sea," he informed her softly. "Two months to this very day,"  
  
"Yes, and what a dreadfully long time it seems too. I have missed your company."  
  
The faun actually laughed. It was not his usual merry chuckle however - it seemed quieter somehow...almost sad. "What? An aging goat-foot like me?" he shook his curly head. "Nay, my lady, I am sure that there were plenty of other young people around to keep you in sport during your tour."  
  
Lucy lifted her head to look at him. She frowned slightly. "An aging goat- foot? Tumnus, you sell yourself short! Indeed I would have gladly swapped the whole of the Lone Island court to spend an evening in your companionship."  
  
Tumnus looked away self-consciously, suddenly occupied in draping his tail over his free arm. "Well, now...I..." he stuttered helplessly for a moment before trailing into an awkward silence, not quite certain how to respond.  
  
Lucy tutted in feigned annoyance and went back to resting her head against his shoulder. "Foolish man."  
  
"Not man. Faun."  
  
The young woman frowned lightly. "What difference does it make?"  
  
Mr Tumnus sighed heavily, brown eyes gazing skyward. "Believe me, dearest Lucy, it makes a great deal of difference."  
  
She though about his words for a long moment. "I'm afraid I don't understand," she admitted regretfully.  
  
"No. I did not expect you to."  
  
The young queen gave a yawn, closing her eyes and snuggling against his shoulder. "You are in a strange mood this evening, old friend."  
  
Mr Tumnus chose not to answer. How could he? He did not dare think of the consequences if he gave his thoughts voice...the mere suggestion terrified him beyond reason. He resolved to keep his feelings buried deep, locked safely in a hidden place within himself. Expressing them could do nothing but damage their friendship, and that was something that Tumnus would not have done for all the gold in Calormen.  
  
It was for the best.  
  
"Did you miss me while I was away?"  
  
Her question provoked another deep sigh from the faun.  
  
...I thought my heart would break in two, my dearest Lucy...  
  
The words, however, remained unsaid. "Yes, a little."  
  
Lucy smiled into his roughened shoulder, a sudden gust of sea spray making her dress flutter lightly at her ankles. "I missed you too."  
  
"Yes, I believe you mentioned that."  
  
"Did I?"  
  
He gave a tired nod, the side of his beard brushing against her forehead.  
  
"Well then by Jove I'll say it again." The young woman chuckled and wrapped her arms around his waist in a light hug. "I missed you, dear Tumnus! And I declare I was never so happy as when our ship pulled into port this afternoon. Oh Narnia and the North! I shall never leave it again!"  
  
"Never?"  
  
"Never ever! My touring days are over."  
  
The faun glanced down at her, one dark eyebrow raised. "Oh? And why is that? If you'll forgive my curiosity, I thought that you rather enjoyed travelling?"  
  
"Oh, I do! At least, I did. But..."  
  
Lucy trailed into silence and said nothing further. He waited expectantly. "...But...?"  
  
She didn't answer for a long moment. When she did speak again, her voice was lowered to a thoughtful murmur, words chosen with deliberate care, as though afraid to reveal too much. "I felt...lost. Lost and alone. To be so far away from my home...from my friends...from..." she halted suddenly, realizing what she had been about to say. She flushed and looked embarrassed. "I don't suppose I'm making much sense, am I?"  
  
Tumnus considered what she had said. "More sense than you know. No true Narnian can stand to be away from his homeland for long."  
  
Lucy shook her head. "That wasn't the reason," she sighed.  
  
"No? Truly? Then what?"  
  
There was a short silence. Lucy played absently with the circlet of gold around her wrist, blue eyes distant and unfocused. Her arms were still interlinked around Tumnus's waist as they walked, the hair on his belly rough against her bare forearms. Against the cold night air he felt deliciously warm and she felt no particular desire to let go. Time had not changed the faun much in either manner or appearance - save perhaps the first strands of silver that were creeping into his beard and his slowly thickening waistline. He was still the same Mr Tumnus she had known in her youth, and that was something comforting to the young woman. People came and people went, but she would always have her dear Tumnus whenever she needed him.  
  
"Oh...never mind. It will keep for another day."  
  
They were both quiet for a time, each lost to private thought. The sky was now flushed to a deep amethyst, almost completely black to the east, stars brilliant against the satin-smooth heavens. The moon hung full and creamy white low against the horizon and, far away in the distance now, the lights of Cair Paravel glowed in the gathering darkness. Neither had any comprehension of how far they had walked. In truth, either truly cared.  
  
"Lucy, dear. Look up at the sky."  
  
She did so, smiling to herself. "They are beautiful tonight," she murmured quietly, gazing up at the silvery bright stars overhead.  
  
"Hm. Sometimes I forget. The trees grow thick in the forest and the sky is difficult to see. Tonight however it is rather..." he paused, unable to find the right word for what he was thinking. "...Lovely."  
  
Lucy yawned sleepily and nuzzled her cheek against his shoulder. "Tell me about the constellations again, Tumnus."  
  
The faun raised his eyes upwards, mouth open slightly. "Well now, let's see. There's the ship...the bear...the serpent...the bowman...the leopard..."  
  
"...Dear leopard," the young queen interjected softly.  
  
Tumnus nodded. "And were these same stars not shining over the Lone Islands during your visit? Did the leopard not prowl the night sky then as it does now?" He allowed himself to lean his head against hers as they walked. "You need not worry about leaving Narnia, old friend. Narnia goes where you do."  
  
She sighed, eyes fixed into the vanishing distance. "Do you think so?"  
  
"Indeed I know so."  
  
Her arms tightened briefly around his waist, pulling him into a light hug. "You are a good friend to me, Tumnus."  
  
A strange look flittered across his features momentarily, so swift that she would later question its existence in the first place. Regret? Mourning? Whatever the expression, it was there only briefly, quickly replaced by a look of forced neutrality. "Friend" he repeated, more to himself than his companion.  
  
"Tumnus?"  
  
He blinked wearily and tilted his head to look down at her. "Hm?"  
  
"I-I...I love..." Her courage suddenly waned and she retreated into the silence, her practiced confession dieing in the back of her throat. She closed her eyes and frowned, quickly seeking something else to say. "...I mean, do you think that we should be heading back to the banquet? The others will be wondering where we are."  
  
Tumnus blinked, as if waking up from a long sleep. "Oh. Oh yes, good idea. Splendid."  
  
They turned around and began the walk back to the castle, each leaning tiredly against the other. Soon they would be enveloped in the warmth and noise of the celebrations, lost to each other in a sea of happy party guests. Not just yet though. Right now there was only the waves, and the moon, and the silence. They were both oddly content to let it be so, even in the knowledge that their tranquillity would be short-lived. Moments like these were few and far between, and experience had taught them to treasure them dearly.  
  
Mr Tumnus frowned thoughtfully, looking out over the smooth ocean. "In all the excitement I almost forgot to tell you," he told her quietly "But the White Stag has been spotted in these parts again."  
  
"Really? The Wishing Stag?" Lucy's interest was immediately gained. "Where?"  
  
The aging faun waved a hand vaguely west-ward. "In the forest to the west of Cair Paravel, if the reports are to be believed."  
  
"I shall inform the others as soon as we get home - no doubt they will wish to form a hunting party. Oh how wonderful it would be to see the White Stag. Do you remember telling me about him, all those years ago?"  
  
"That I do."  
  
"Would you care to join the hunt? No doubt your knowledge of the beast will be invaluable."  
  
"Nay, my lady." His dark eyes creased as he smiled in amusement. "I fear I am getting too old to be scampering about the woodland in search of quarry. I would only hinder your sport. And besides, you will be able to tell me all about it when you return home tomorrow."  
  
Lucy rolled her eyes. "I shall give you a blow by blow account."  
  
"Is that a promise, daughter of Eve?"  
  
She pressed her mouth against his rough shoulder in a chaste kiss of friendship. "It's a promise."  
  
***********************  
  
Time passed and seasons changed, all far too slowly in Tumnus's opinion. Now it was winter once more. The snow drifted silently in the darkness beyond his window - clouds, heavy and bruise colored, hanging low in the night sky. The trees become lost beneath a thick blanket of glittering white as the winter months dragged on, and the whole forest was enveloped in a hushed quiet. The stillness was not a dead and unnatural, however - as it was in the time of the White Witch - but rather it was as though the whole wood were in the grip of some kind of enchanted hibernation.  
  
Sitting in his cave with his feet raised before the fire, Tumnus felt the sleepy atmosphere seep into his own home. A tingling warmth spread over his skin as the first tendrils of sleep began to pull at the back of his mind. He was suddenly so very tired...it was a struggle simply to keep his eyelids open...  
  
...A crackling in the grate pulled him back into consciousness. He blinked and looked up in mild surprise. One of the pieces of wood had rolled over in the fire, sending glowing sparks drifting into the darkness. He had not bothered to light any lamps that evening, and the dancing flames in the fireplace was the only source of illumination for the cave. Everything was bathed in a ruddy orange glow, inky-black shadows jumping occasionally from behind the furniture. There was a comfortable heat in comparison to the icy coldness outside...something for which the old faun was immensely grateful.  
  
...Almost time...  
  
Tumnus frowned thoughtfully to himself. Time for what? He had the overwhelming sense that he was in wait for something, but no matter how much he racked his brain he couldn't think what for. He was growing increasingly forgetful in his later years, so this feeling wasn't that unusual. Had he arranged to meet Mrs Beaver that evening? No...that wasn't it. She was coming around the following morning - he knew that, because he had bought crumpets especially for her visit.  
  
But if it wasn't Mrs Beaver, who else would he be waiting for?  
  
"Who indeed?"  
  
Somehow, he wasn't surprised when the voice spoke. It was as though he had been waiting for it to put in an appearance for quite some time now. And oh that voice! It was a voice he had not heard in almost forty years, and yet his heard still made a small leap at its sound. Rich and warm, velvety smooth, only one creature under the sun possessed a voice like that.  
  
"Aslan," Tumnus greeted, turning around in his chair and smiling, apparently not thinking to question what it was exactly that the Lion was doing in his cave. "Have I been waiting for you?"  
  
"Oh no, my son. It is I who has been waiting for you."  
  
Aslan sat in the middle of the floor, his powerful frame dwarfing the surrounding furniture. If age had affected Tumnus, it showed no sign of yet doing so to him. His fur was an all-over gold, vibrant and glowing even in the dim half-light, and his mane appeared as full as ever. His paws were easily the size of the faun's head - larger perhaps - and his glossy flanks were curved with strong muscles.  
  
Under ordinary circumstances, Tumnus might have questioned exactly how it was that Aslan was able to fit within his home, for it normally would not have been able to accommodate the so large a beast. Certainly Aslan did not appear to be any smaller, nor the cave any bigger. At the time, it did not seem important.  
  
...It was the eyes, however, that entranced Tumnus. Deep and shining, strangely sad - twin pools of amber to drown the unwary. He stared into those deep brown eyes and found only himself staring back. Aslan was everything and nothing all at the same time.  
  
The faun frowned, looking troubled. "I'm afraid I have no cake," he admitted woefully, "Although you are more than welcome to a cup of tea."  
  
The great golden lion shook his shaggy mane. "We will not be staying here that long."  
  
"Must we leave so soon? Y-you have only just arrived."  
  
"That is the way of things" Aslan told him simply.  
  
Tumnus hesitated, seemingly reluctant. The firelight flickered against his skin, casting orange high-lights in his silver-grey beard.  
  
"Dear heart," Aslan sighed sorrowfully, "There is no sense in waiting. She will not return. Not in your lifetime."  
  
"She might," Tumnus protested weakly.  
  
The lion made a low sound in the back of his throat and bowed his great head slightly. "No, my son, she will not. Your destinies lie on very different paths. Be content in the time that you had together and do not torture yourself with vain hopes of what might have been. Mourning betters no one."  
  
The aging faun blinked quickly and looked away. His eyes became distant and unfocused, the flickering firelight reflecting in the warm brown depths. "But it's not enough," he whispered, more to himself than to Aslan. "It was never enough."  
  
"It never is."  
  
Tumnus thought about his words for a long moment. The snow outside continued to fall - quicker now and thicker too. A cold draught drifted from a gap under the door, making the fire splutter and flame in the grate.  
  
"Then...then you know? About how I felt?"  
  
The great lion made a low nod and said nothing.  
  
The faun gave a groan of despair and hung his head, holding his horns with his hands and rocking too and fro. "Oh, Aslan...I'm so sorry! I'm such a bad faun. A terrible faun. The worst that there ever was, I daresay." He grimaced woefully, as though in great pain. "Oh, wicked, evil faun that I am! Can you ever forgive me?"  
  
"My dearest child," Aslan murmured, bringing his head down on level to the faun's, "Why are you apologizing?"  
  
Mr Tumnus did not look up. He couldn't bear to meet those deep eyes...not now. "I'm so ashamed of myself. I-I knew it was wrong...I *know* that its wrong...but I couldn't help it. I-I..."  
  
"You refer to your feelings for Lucy?"  
  
The faun flinched at his words. The hands that held onto his horns gripped suddenly so hard that his knuckles turned bone white. "Oh please don't say it! My poor father would turn in his grave if he knew!"  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because it's wrong!" Tumnus wailed despairingly, "Because it's unnatural! Had Lucy known those terrible, wicked things that I was thinking she would have sooner thrown herself into a giants breakfast bowl rather than be in the same room as me!"  
  
"Would she?"  
  
"Yes!"  
  
Aslan suddenly bought his head very close to Mr Tumnus's face, till they were - quite literally - nose to nose. At this point the man had no choice but to look up. The brown eyes were closer than he had ever seen them before - solemn, unfathomable, overwhelming. He wanted to look away...he *needed* to look away...but a power greater than his own will kept him there.  
  
"Would she?" the lion repeated, voice lowered to a creamy rich purr.  
  
Tumnus hesitated, eyebrows drawing together. "W...wouldn't she?"  
  
Aslan said nothing.  
  
"You mean...?"  
  
"Dear heart, love is never anything to be ashamed of. Where two people care about each other - deeply and unselfishly - there can be no sin. Do you think it is only the love of a human man for a human woman that gladdens my father's heart? Of course it is not. Love comes in a great many shapes and forms, each no better or no more 'right' than the next. Man for man, black for white, faun for human...what difference does any of it make? Do you not understand - all love is sacred to my father."  
  
Tumnus stared into the devastating eyes, and drew a long, shuddering breath. He shook his head mournfully. "I was such a fool."  
  
"You were afraid," the lion reasoned softly. "There is a difference."  
  
Aslan looked at him meaningfully for a long moment, allowing the truth time to sink in. Then, slowly, he raised his head, allowing the great mane to flow in waves over his powerful shoulders. When he spoke again, his words were gentle, but the commanding tone behind them was unmistakable.  
  
"It is time for us to leave, my son."  
  
He was still for a second longer, then rose to his feet. Tumnus understood the gesture. He got shakily to his legs, pausing to pick up his old red muffler.  
  
"You will not need that in my father's country."  
  
Tumnus paused, breathing uneven with barely repressed sobs. "All the same," he admitted quietly, "I'd like to take it nonetheless."  
  
Aslan watched him closely for a moment before giving a diminutive nod. Then he turned and began to pad silently towards the door. Tumnus hesitated, taking one final look around his cave. It had been his home for his entire life. Over there in that corner, that was where his father had used to read him stories when he was a child. Over there was the chess set old Brambely Mole had given him for his coming-of-age party. And over there...there was the very chair that Lucy had sat in all those years ago, after their first meeting in the Lantern Waste.  
  
How long ago it seemed.  
  
He was going to miss this place, no doubt about that, but it was his time to go. He could no more fight it than he could stop the sun from rising in the east. And he was content to let it be so. He was tired...so very tired. He didn't want to go on anymore...not without his dear Lucy.  
  
Slowly, Tumnus turned and followed Aslan out of the door.  
  
****************  
  
It was that very same night when Edmund found Lucy out in the garden. It was late - ten past two in the morning, according to his wrist-watch - and he had just gotten up for a glass of water when he had noticed the figure from the kitchen window. It was small and pale, a girl in a nightdress crouched on the lawn outside with her head in her hands. He frowned in confusion and set his glass down. What on earth...?  
  
Opening the back door as silently as he could, Edmund walked over to where the girl was sitting. His feet were bare, the grass icy cold under his toes, and a chill winter wind cut him to the bone. He shivered and pulled his dressing-gown closer. The moon was a cruel saber of silver high above his head, casting a pale glow over the darkened garden.  
  
"Lu?" he called questioningly. "Lu, what's going on? What are you doing out here?"  
  
The young girl raised her head. To his surprise and dismay, tears were streaming down her face, her shoulders quaking with heartfelt sobs.  
  
"Oh Ed!" she cried, "I-I can't see the leopard! It's gone and I can't find it! I can't see the leopard!"  
  
Her brother was immediately beside her, his arms wrapped around her neck as he pulled her into a tight embrace. She started to cry again, sobbing bitterly against his shoulder as though her heart were breaking. He didn't know what to do. He held her helplessly, one hand running over her hair in a vain attempt to lend her comfort.  
  
"What are you talking about? Has somebody hurt you? Oh, Lu! Lu, please stop crying! What's wrong?"  
  
Lucy, however, was inconsolable. "He's gone! I can feel it! He's gone forever and I'll never see him again!"  
  
"Who? Who are you talking about?"  
  
"Oh, why didn't I tell him when I had the chance?"  
  
Edmund tightened his grip, surrounding her with his arms and kissing the top of her head. "Please tell me what's wrong," he pleaded desperately.  
  
"My dearest, dearest Tumnus! I'll n-never see him again!"  
  
That was the last line of sense that Edmund could get out of her. She collapsed into tears, burying her face into his shoulder and weeping wretchedly. Edmund had never felt so powerless, incapable of doing anything but to hold her close and wait for her tears to dry. It was all that he could do.  
  
Heartbroken and despairing, Queen Lucy the Valliant cried. 


	2. Authors Note

Authors note: This is really just in reply to some of the comments that people have left for this fic. Thanks to everyone who has taken the time to review (it makes me a very happy author, lol). And yes, I know that Lucy and Tumnus is a pretty...odd pairing, but then again there has to be some kind of alternative to Lucy/Caspian fanfiction, right?  
  
...Okay, about the whole man-for-man thing. I was pretty surprised by how many people picked up on it (it was a *very* small line!) and I'm not going to start dictating my opinions on Christianity and homosexuality to the readers of fanfiction.net...but I feel that I should probably explain my reason for putting it in there...  
  
The more I wrote to my fic, the more I realised that a relationship between Tumnus and Lucy was not just a simple case of two people loving each other. They were different ages, different social classes, and - most importantly - completely different species. Their love is 'unnatural' in every traditional sense...which is why neither of them can ever admit the truth, and why Tumnus feels such terrible guilt about his feelings.  
  
With the man-for-man line, I was just trying to draw parallel to Tumnus's feelings for Lucy to other, more identifiable, examples of 'unnatural' love (e.g. gay couples, inter-racial couples etc). As C.S.Lewis never wrote anything in the Narnia books specifically about his views on sexuality, I could only refer to my own opinions on the subject - that being that homosexuality is not a sin, and it is perfectly compatible with the ideals of the Christian Church (and Aslan, by extension).  
  
Hope that answered any questions! 


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